5 Reasons Why Your Relationship Kills Your Creativity & What To Do


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Love affects creativity—in a good way or in a bad way. If you are an artist struggling with your relationship and feeling that your current partner destroys your creativity, it’s about time to take a closer look and figure out what’s going wrong. Here are 5 common reasons why your relationship kills your creativity and what you can do about it!

Why does your relationship kill your creativity?

Creating art is sexy. Being an artist makes you hot, and many artists are known for being charismatic people. They are multi-faceted, enigmatic personalities. That’s why artists are so attractive.

Generally speaking, it’s not hard for creatives to attract a relationship. The “better half” often feels attracted to the artist’s depth of thought, high emotional intelligence, and way of expressing themselves, including their artistic self-expression.

Yeah, artists are a pretty extraordinary breed, which makes them so interesting to the opposite sex—or the same sex. On the flip side, however, artists might also attract bad relationships that don’t do them well. I think we all know what we’re talking about…

Yes, it’s a fact. Love does affect creativity. And when artists struggle with a relationship, the struggle might destroy their creativity.

Do you know that feeling? You entered into a relationship with someone you were really in love with. At the beginning, everything was fine. You were happy and content. But after a certain period of time, you noticed that your relationship started to take a toll on your creativity. 

It became increasingly difficult for you to sustain your creative endeavors, find inspiration, and continue to make art. In other words, you were in a big, fat creative rut.

Have you ever found that your creative juices are affected by your relationship status? Have you ever asked yourself, 'why does my relationship kill my creativity?'

Well, if so, you are not the only one. It turns out that many artists have felt that a relationship affected their creative life negatively, at some point in time. 

I know that your art and mental health might really suffer, when you are not with the right one who understands your passion—and your artistic weirdness… (◔_◔)

I've made the experience myself. Below, I've sorted out 5 common reasons why your relationship kills your creativity and what you can do about it.

So, without further ado, let’s dive in!

Why do creatives struggle with relationships?

There might be a lot of reasons why creatives struggle with relationships—just like anyone else. However, when the struggles of your relationship start killing your creativity, it’s time to do something about it.

Especially if you are a full-time artist who needs their creativity to thrive financially, disagreements and stress in a relationship can curb your productivity tremendously and jeopardize your creative future.

Love should never destroy your creativity. On the contrary. It should uplift you—in all aspects of your life, including your creative ambitions.

If love affects your creativity adversely, you know it's time for a change. The following five reasons include the most common issues that artists struggle with in relationships.

It’s important to learn to stand up for ourselves and communicate our problems effectively. Maybe you are finding any of the below struggles perturbing your current creative life. In that case, I’ll be giving you my best advice on what to do and invite you to share your own strategies and experiences in the comments!

Just a quick note before we are getting into it:

In the following paragraphs, I’ll be referring to partner as he—just for reasons of simplicity. I’m a straight girl, so my partner is naturally male. But you can really replace he with anything—she, they, ze, xe,... It’s fully down to your personal preference. With that being said, let’s get started!

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5 Reasons Why Your Relationship Kills Your Creativity

REASON #1: Your partner considers your art to be just a hobby.

This is perhaps the worst factor why your relationship kills your creativity: your partner doesn’t take your art seriously. He plays it down and sees it as nothing more than “just a hobby.”

I know that the “hobby notion” is one of the big myths about art that is ingrained in the heads of many people. If your partner isn’t a creative person himself, it might be hard for him to understand what it means to you.

Explain your partner that art-making is an essential part of your life and your personality. That art was your passion before you two even got together. Make it clear that his depreciation of your work hurts you. It doesn’t matter if you’re making money with your art, if you have a couple of thousands followers on Instagram or only a hundred, if you went to art school or are completely self-taught.

Art is your calling. If he really cannot see your art for what it means to you, ask yourself if he is genuinely able to see you. Is it worth to pursue the relationship?

REASON #2: Your partner doesn’t support your creative endeavors.

Your partner constantly finds a way to make your creative career an issue. For example, he might be miffed about you using up too much space for your paintings, he kicks up a fuss when there’s some paint left on the kitchen floor, or he even is your worst art critic.

Being an artist myself, I know what it took you to get where you are. Your partner probably doesn’t. Take your partner along your creative process. Show him what time and effort it takes to create a work of art from start to finish.

Tell him what it means to you that he is supportive of your creative potential. Let him know that it is not only important for your artistic career, but also for your relationship to flourish. If you don’t get enough support, your partner can love you desperately. Still, your creativity and your relationship will suffer from the lack of support.

Learn more: 4 Ways To Emotionally Support An Artist (This Is What Artists Need!)

If you don't get enough support, your partner can love you desperately, but your relationship still kills your creativity.
Someone can love you desperately with their feelings and still not know how to love you correctly with their actions.

REASON #3: Your partner doesn’t want to give you enough time alone.

Your partner keeps nagging you to spend more time with him, while you need your breathing room to find new inspiration and create art. 

Art-making is not a highly sociable activity in itself. Therefore, artists inevitably spend a lot of time on their own. Solitude tends to stimulate creativity. As artists, we know that the best ideas often come when we are alone!

Unfortunately, some people misinterpret that tendency to withdraw as anti-social and neglectful behavior. A too clingy partner who wants to spend every minute of the day with you can quickly put a strain on your relationship. Possessiveness destroys creativity.

Make sure to spend enough quality time with your partner where he gets all the attention he deserves. But also be unapologetic about your needs for creative solitude. In a good relationship, both partners should respect the other person’s desires. If that’s not happening, your relationship kills your creativity, in the long run!

Possessiveness destroys creativity.
The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.
~Albert Einstein

REASON #4: Your partner doesn’t understand your artistic sensitivity.

Your partner accuses you of being moody and “too sensitive.” He considers your emotional reaction to things around you exaggerated and eccentric.

Many artists have high emotional intelligence, much higher than the less creative part of the population. That’s why artists feel things differently and may show different behavioral patterns that seem “weird” to the rest of the world.

That artistic sensitivity might be hard to understand for someone who sees the world with “normal eyes.” Nevertheless, you should try to make your partner understand that you are feeling things more deeply. Therefore, you might feel overwhelmed, sad, or depressed, where other people have no problem to remain level-headed. 

At the end of the day, I believe it’s difficult for someone to feel things the same way you do, if they are not naturally wired that way. For a long and happy relationship, though, it’s important to have a partner who genuinely sees you and accepts you the way you are. So, choose someone whose love affects your creativity positively! (♥‿♥)

Choose someone whose love affects your creativity positively.
Choose someone who chooses you, asks how you are, sees you, lets you be you, is good for your mental health, you can breathe easily around, you don't need to perform for, wants to see you win, doesn't try to control you.

REASON #5: Your partner makes you happy. (ಠ‿↼)

Your partner does everything to make you feel tremendously happy, while you are used to finding inspiration for your art in suffering… ☺︎

It’s not a necessity that great art comes from great pain. Still, many artists process their negative emotions and feelings through their work. They tell their stories through their art, and more often than not, the things that move us the most are our negative experiences, right?

Well, even if it’s not the case that your relationship kills your creativity, you will have lots of stuff to display in your artwork. It’s sad but true, no matter how happy we are in a relationship, there will still be lots of negative experiences in our daily life that may inspire our art. 

On the other hand, love has already spurred many marvelous artworks. So, just make your partner you new muse and let love affect your creativity!

Those were just a few reasons why artists struggle in a relationship. But honestly, those issues are not unique to relationships with creatives.

When a couple lacks the understanding for each other, the effects will always cause your ingenuity to stifle. Relationships must be reciprocal. Just as much as you give, you must receive from the other person. When your partner is not aligned with your purpose or who you are, it won’t work.

The best advice that I can give to the partner of an artist is to find that creative spark in yourself and be patient when trying to understand the uniqueness of your artistic sweetheart. To help you get your head around it, here’s what to know when dating an artist!

And to all artists, I can just say: be unapologetic about your creative passion, if it’s your intrinsic desire to create. Be a selfish artist. Use your intuition and trust your gut feeling when it comes to choosing your life partner!

Love affects creativity. But it is important to make sure that your relationship doesn't kill your creativity.
Don't make yourself small for anyone. Be the awkward, intelligent, funny, beautiful weirdo that you are. Don't hold back. Just be yourself.

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These were some reasons why your relationship kills your creativity. Of course, there are many, many more. Maybe you have had your own experiences with toxic relationships that made your artistic life suffer and want to share them in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! Make sure to sign up for my email list below so you don’t miss out on new blog posts and other cool stuff. ♥

why your relationship kills your creativity
why your relationship kills your creativity
why your relationship kills your creativity
AngieG. – The Person behind the Pictures
HI Y'ALL!  
My name is Angie and I’m a self-taught digital artist. On this blog, I am sharing inspirational resources and advice to help you develop your artistic skills and cultivate a creative mindset. My desire is to support you in becoming a confident artist and realizing your dream!
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